Part 3: Recovery Isn't a Straight Line: Choice, Strength and Practices That Put You in Charge
There is no single "right" way to recover from trauma.
For some people, it looks like talking with a counsellor. For others it's movement, creativity, time in nature, faith, community or quiet. Often it's a combination, and it changes over time. What helped you last year might not be what you need today, and that's okay.
Some days will feel like progress. Some days will feel like going backwards. Both are part of the journey.
Why "backwards days" are okay
A hard day doesn't erase the work you've done.
Healing tends to move in waves, not in a straight line. A dip doesn't mean you've failed, and it doesn't mean you're back at the start. Often it means your body and mind are processing something, or that you're tired, stretched thin, or have bumped into a reminder of what happened.
Backwards days can also be useful. They show us what we need: more rest, more support, a slower pace. And they can quietly show how far you've come. You might notice you recover a little faster than before, or that you know better what helps you settle.
On a backwards day, you're allowed to:
Do less, and rest without guilt.
Reach out to someone you trust, or stay quiet if that's what you need.
Return to the small things that help you feel safe.
Be as gentle with yourself as you would be with a friend.
You haven't lost your progress. You're still moving through it, in your own way and in your own time.
What recovery may include
Feeling safer in your body.
Being able to rest, or to say no.
Having more good days than hard ones.
Reconnecting with people, with joy, with yourself.
Understanding your triggers and what helps you settle.
None of these are about being "fixed" or "back to normal." Recovery is about building a life that feels safer, fuller and more your own.
Principles that guide how I work
Choice: you decide what, when and how much.
Pacing: slow is okay. Stopping is okay.
Strengths: you've already survived. Let's notice how.
Empowerment: you are the expert on your own life.
What "you are the expert on your own life" looks like in practice
You know your body, your story and your limits better than anyone else. My role isn't to tell you what you need. It's to offer gentle options and then trust you to choose. You can adjust, pause or stop at any time, without explaining why. Whatever you notice, and whatever it means to you, is yours.
Gentle things you can try at home
These same ideas don't stop when a session ends, or if you've never had one. So much of recovery happens in everyday moments, in your own space and on your own terms.
Here are some ideas you can try by yourself, whenever and however suits you. They're suggestions, not a to-do list.
Grounding
Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear.
Hold a smooth stone, a warm mug or a soft blanket.
Press your feet into the floor and notice the support beneath you.
Movement
A slow walk, stretching or shaking out your arms and legs.
Swaying or dancing to a song you love.
Creativity
Drawing, colouring, journaling or collage, with no pressure to make it "good".
Nature
Barefoot on grass.
Watching clouds.
Listening to birds.
Connection
Sitting with someone safe, a pet, or a supportive group.
Sound and stillness
Soft music, humming, or simply listening to the sounds around you.
Resting while you breathe at whatever pace feels natural.
Sounds outside don't need to be shut out. They can be part of the experience.
You are allowed to go at your own pace. You are allowed to change your mind.
Next Part 4: Breaking the Cycle.
Be gentle with yourself. You are doing more than you know.
Jessica
Disclaimer: This post is general information and is not a substitute for therapy or medical advice. Sessions at Blüte are complementary and are not a replacement for professional mental health care.
If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence or sexual assault, 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) offers free, confidential support 24/7. If you're in immediate danger, call 000. For emotional support, Lifeline is available on 13 11 14, Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 (24/7, ages 5 to 25), Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
